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how to avoid embarrasment (for both you & I)

I know some of this goes without saying...
          but, actually, no, apparently it doesn't...
Have you ever see a sign out in public that you just know is only there because *somebody* did the exact (obviously dumb) thing the sign is advising against?'s your sign...
  • DON"T EVEN BOTHER ASKING: The screening and deposit it required and rates are nonnegotiable. Period. 
  • REFERENCES: If you'd like a provider reference in the future, a $100-$300 visa gift or venmo transfer is a standard gratuity. I do not require it in the interest of the safety of other providers but it is a very nice gesture.
  • REMITTING PAYMENT: When relinquishing your funds to me; do so in a discreet manner. When meeting at your room- have it waiting in the bathroom. When meeting at my room- excuse yourself to the restroom after introduction and leave it by the sink. When meeting in public- place it in a card or gift bag. Electronic transfers- no festivities will take place until funds are actually in my account. ALL payments should be transferred within 5 minutes of our first interaction.
  • HYGIENE!!!!! If you turn up smellin' of the sewers, I WILL tell you and I WILL require you to shower and will supervise if I must! Please don't make me ask a grown man to bathe. You are more than welcome & encouraged to take the initiative and help yourself to any of my spa-grade bath amenities; I also keep extra toothbrushes, mouthwash, wipes, deodorant, etc in stock.
  • DISCRETION- OML *facepalm* I 1000% understand your need for discretion; so please take in account that I have the same need!! ACT LIKE WE KNOW EACH OTHER! Don't loudly introduce yourself "Hi, I'm so&so, nice to meet you!" in my hotel room (in case of nosey neighbors and thin walls; if you're in my hotel room- I should probably know who you are already, right?) DO NOT speak about money or sex in public settings. TACT!! When in doubt, ask yourself "Would I do/say this on a regular date?" Do NOT reference my "website" or any advertisement sites while speaking in public. Generally just ignore the fact that I'm an escort at all. 
  • REVIEWS- Look, I'll be honest; I hate them. I find them to be dehumanizing & usually quite gross; BUT, they are a necessary evil. If you enjoyed our time; please leave a VAGUE & discreet 5 STARS! If not, I ask that you please address with me, first, before writing up a distasteful article.
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